Whipping Girl Read online

  “Listen to your parents, Ally, I’ve given them some rules for you to follow, I expect you to be a good girl and listen, alright?” He narrows his eyes then pulls his head back a bit, a frown line appearing on his forehead. I can’t speak because of the tears clogging my throat so I just nod my answer. I always follow his rules, he doesn’t have to worry about that. He pulls me to him and holds me almost too tightly, I can barely breathe but I don’t care, I need him more than I need the oxygen for my lungs. I can’t believe this is happening, the fact that I am outside for the first time since I was six years old means nothing compared to losing this man, he’s been everything to me since I was taken.

  “How will I know if something happens?” I sob. I can’t even fathom that possibility, a world without him is a world I would no longer be a part of.

  “If the worst happens, I’ll have someone contact you discreetly. I don’t want you to worry about that, live your life, Angel, and know that I am doing everything I can to get back to you.” He presses his face into my hair and inhales long and slow, savoring. I hold onto him tightly until he grabs my arms and pulls them away from his body, bringing them between us, he kisses both of my hands then my cheeks and finally another slow press of his lips on mine, I close my eyes tightly to relish the moment but it’s over too quickly. I watch as the mask comes over his face, hiding his emotions from the rest of the world as he turns toward a group of men that I am just now noticing. Zeke walks over, handing something to Alexander, I don’t get to see what it is but I feel a small poke in my neck when he brings his hand up. The last thing I see is my boy mouthing “I love you” before the world goes black.

  I wake the same way that I have on countless occasions for the past five years, sweaty and breathless with tears rolling down my cheeks. I grab his necklace, fingering it reverently, as I remember everything. I’m mostly a dreamless sleeper unless I’m replaying the last memory that I have with Alexander. Alexander. He said he would be back for me but with each day that passes I lose a little bit more hope that I’ll ever be with him again, that thought alone makes it hard to keep going. If it weren't for my family, I may have given up a long time ago.

  “Good Morning, friend!” Molly - my roommate for the year and a half I have been in college - sings as she walks through the door of our small dorm room. She’s always so sunny and chipper that it’s difficult, even after my dream, not to smile at her.

  “Hey.” I croak. She stops and takes a good look at me, probably noticing my tear streaked face.

  “Same dream?” She asks with concern. Molly knows most of what I could tell her, not that I could tell her a lot, but she knows about Alexander and that he had to leave me to keep me safe and that my family and I had to change our names. Alexander let me keep my first name, kind of, it’s just Ally now, my old nickname. I suppose he had figured that The Guard wouldn't have suspected that. Molly thinks it’s all so romantic but it feels more tragic to me.

  “Yeah.” I breathe out.

  “I’m sorry. I know it seems-“

  “Crap!” I interrupt after looking at the clock. “I’m going to be late!” I jump out of bed, grabbing my shower caddy on the way to the closet. I pull the first thing I see from a hanger then run toward my dresser to grab some undies and my towels, it takes me all of 40 seconds then I’m running to the showers, barely closing the door behind me as I leave our room. I absolutely despise running late, it’s kind of an obsession of mine, I’ll be an hour early somewhere before I am a minute late. Luckily the showers are free, everyone is probably already in class. Ugh! I turn on the water, stripping off my clothes at the same time. The water is still freezing cold as I jump under the spray to wash quickly.

  “That was rude, I was talking to you.” Molly says from the other side of the curtain, I can tell she’s not really angry, she just has something to say.

  “Sorry, Molls, you know I hate being late.” I’m frantically washing my hair, scrubbing my body with my shampoo instead of my body wash, I don’t have time to open two separate bottles.

  “What? I had no idea.” She says with heavy sarcasm that I ignore. “There is a party tonight. We’re going.” She says with unnecessary finality. I roll my eyes but won’t argue. I don’t mind going with her on occasion, mostly to keep her safe even though it’s not really my scene, I like to go every once in a while so I can say a quick hello to some of my more social friends.

  “Alright.” I shut the water off, hoping all the suds are out of my hair, I wrap a bright yellow towel around me then swaddle my head with another.

  “Really? No argument?” She asks in surprise. I don’t usually agree without some kind of procrastination.

  “I don’t have time to argue.” I say as I pull the shower curtain open and rush past her to the mirror, already opening my make-up bag to pull out my lotion and mascara. Other than ChapStick it’s the only beauty cosmetics that I use, I don’t think Alexander would even approve of the mascara but I like the way it seems to make my green eyes stand out more.

  “Well, then. Win for Molly! I love when you are this agreeable, I may just break your alarm clock.” I throw her a filthy look, making her laugh. “I’ll see you in the room after your last class, five o’clock, right?”

  “Yup. Get out of here, you’re distracting me.” I say absentmindedly, nosing up to the mirror to apply my make-up.

  “Love you!” She laughs as she turns and leaves me alone. I blow out a heavy breath but don’t have time for self-pity, I guess I am going to a party tonight. I get done with my routine in record time, I’m dressed somewhat like a hobo, mismatched and a bit wrinkly but it will do, Molly is just going to redress me for the party anyway.

  I end up getting to class just as the bell rings, releasing a very relieved sigh as I sit down and take out my supplies, readying myself for a long day and an even longer night. My mind wanders as I wait for our professor to start the class, thinking about all the things that could or should be. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life, I don’t take the things and people in my world for granted, I love and appreciate them fiercely and I have been granted opportunities that not everyone is awarded, I’m going to a great school -Tremblay Academy of Arts, it was something that my parents had insisted on instead of a much safer degree in business or accounting. They have taken Alexander’s rules pretty seriously, I don’t know if it’s out of fear that he would take me away from them if they didn’t or out of respect for him after he gave their daughter back, whatever the reason, I’m grateful for their support both in college and mine and Alexander’s relationship. It couldn’t have been easy for them to try to put me back together after we were reunited, I was a mess, could barely function on my own but piece by piece they slowly started rebuilding me, reminding me that Alexander would be back for me when I had my days that I just couldn’t fathom getting out of bed for. Alexander had told me that I could tell them things, only them, I mostly tried to make it sound like a spa where us girls were treated like princesses but after Mom accidentally walked in on me changing and saw the scars on my back I had to share a bit more, reassuring them that the whipping had only ever happened once. I know the scars are ugly but they also make me feel proud in a weird way, I know Alexander has them on his back as well, a lot more than I do even, somehow they make me feel closer to him, like it wasn’t all some delusion that I made up in my head after all this time. He promised that he would send someone to tell me if something had happened to him but I have days where I feel completely hopeless, thinking maybe he’s gone and he didn’t have anyone left to notify me, it’s been five years... Is he still out there or am I living on the fumes of my memories?

  “It’s awesome, right?” Molly yells, leading me toward a keg in the kitchen. I nod at her with a half-smile, not really agreeing but not willing to ruin her good time. We’ve passed quite a few people that I know so at least I’ll have plenty of people to talk to while my social butterfly of a friend bounces around, she loves this scene. “You look beautiful! So b
eautiful... I love you so much!” I laugh at her. She had a few shots before we left the dorms, already tanked and talking. I love her for it. I was right about her redressing me, she knows my taste so she never forces me to wear ridiculous outfits but she always insures that I look appropriate for the setting. I’m wearing black shorts, and a salmon colored flowing top with gold accents, I look cute but casual. It’s not that I don’t have any style, it’s just that I really couldn’t care less if I’m wearing the latest fashion trends or expensive name brand clothes. Clothes are clothes.

  “Hey, sweetheart.” I turn with a smile at the familiar voice, Josh is a close friend and classmate of mine.

  “Hey, Pumpkin!” I laugh. I started calling him pumpkin after a weirdly awkward date offer last Halloween. He was so nervous about asking me out that he ended up upending an entire table of pumpkin themed deserts, I felt so bad for him that I ended up helping him clean everything off of the walls and floor, to top it all off I gently refused his date. We ended up laughing about everything the next day when we ran into each other in class, it worked out though because we became pretty good friends.

  “Molly must have dressed you again, you look less homeless than you did this afternoon.” I mock gasp at his insult. This is our thing.

  “Don’t be pissed at me just because no one loves you enough to dress you appropriately yet.” That would seem a little harsh if I didn’t know him so well. Josh is a hopeless romantic, he is in a near constant search for his soulmate, if I hadn’t met mine when I was six years old then we might have had a chance.

  “I wouldn’t be so sure, the barista at the coffee shop winked at me today… Yeah, that’s right, she’ll be my wife by next year.” He winks. I smile widely, loving his optimism and never ending humor. Josh is a great looking guy, tall, muscular, blonde hair, and blue eyes to die for. Picture this- boy next door to the gym, that’s Josh. I wish more than anything that a girl comes along soon that deserves this guy, she’ll be lucky for it.

  “I’m 100% sure that she is the one.” I say in mock seriousness. “Winking is a pretty serious thing.”

  “I’m so glad you agree, I already bought the ring.” He chucks me teasingly in the jaw then wraps an arm around my shoulders and starts to lead me back to the door. “I love you enough to kill you with second hand smoke. I need a cigarette and you need to entertain me.” I don’t complain, I don’t mind keeping him company.

  “Should I warn you of the risks again?” I ask lightly.

  “Only if you want me to tell you of the risks.” He ticks them off on his fingers as we exit the house, him lighting a cigarette between. “Driving in cars, talking to new people, crossing streets, eating bacon, and using sunscreen.” This is an ongoing thing between us. Josh always warns me of the risk of EVERYTHING when I nag him about smoking. He’s right about everything being a risk but why add to it?

  “I know, I know. Can you blame me for not wanting bad things to happen to you? I’m just trying to look out for-” I’m stopped by a strange tingling in my spine, I look around, scoping out the driveway and yard. I see nothing but the prickling of my skin doesn’t abate. I keep searching until snapping fingers enter my view, I look back to a confused Josh, shaking myself off of the weird feeling.

  “You alright, sweetheart?” He takes a couple more puffs while I look between him and the surrounding area.

  “Yeah, of course. Long day.” I shrug it off. I can’t wait to crawl into bed, I feel it calling my name already but I want to talk to a few people that I know before I leave. Molly mentioned that she may be staying with Brent, her sometimes boyfriend tonight, maybe they’ll be able to work it out. It’ll be nice to sleep in on a Saturday and not have to go running with my crazy roommate.

  “In that case you are lucky that I am practically engaged, if I had given you a chance to be with me you wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.” He finishes that off with an over the top air kiss and waggle of his eyebrows, smiling as I laugh so hard that I have to bend to catch my breath. “I’m becoming offended.” He says drily as I continue to chuckle. I eventually sober, trying to hide my smile as he opens the door so we can go back inside.

  “You’re amazing. If there is a woman out there that deserves your love and loyalty then I am officially jealous of her.” He waves me off like he always does when I compliment him but I grab his hand to stop him for a moment. “I’m serious, there is someone out there for every one of us, Josh.” He smiles at me, a genuine friendly smile.

  “I know. I can feel her out there somewhere, I’m just searching for her in every woman I see... but I’ll know her when we meet.” Us being serious like this is pretty rare, just when I’m about to say something about that, he adds, “plus, I am waaaaaaay too good looking not to procreate.” He nods seriously, making me laugh again as I pull him toward the makeshift dance floor.

  “Why don’t you show these ladies your moves, we’ll be beating them off with sticks after.” He chuckles but immediately breaks out his superior dance skills.

  A few hours after we arrive I am way past ready to go back to the dorm, I’m practically dead on my feet but I’m proud of myself for staying as long as I did. I haven’t seen Molly but confirmed through text that she was staying with Brent so I wouldn't feel bad about leaving her, hopefully they will stay together this time around.

  “Ready to go?” Josh asks. He always insists on taking me home when Molly stays with Brent, always the gentleman.

  “Ready.” I confirm. I would insist that he stay if he liked these things but he is like me in this way, talk to a few key people then leave. We are introverted extroverts, we like to socialize but only with the people that we know and like.

  We laugh and joke the entire walk back, we don’t live in the same dorm but his isn’t far from mine. I flash my card at the reader and wave my goodbye at the door, heading up to my fourth floor room, still smiling. I showered this morning but after the day and night that I had, a shower is the perfect way to relax and wind down. I smell like smoke and sweat, typical party smells are not the greatest to fall asleep to. I grab my shower supplies, along with a light blue pair of pajama shorts and a white tank top then head to the shower.

  Chapter 13 – Ally

  I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I brush through the long strands of my wet hair. My green eyes are mascara-less and tired, I look like I could use a goodnight sleep and I am almost giddy with the possibility of sleeping in tomorrow.

  I replace my brush into my shower caddy then head back to the room, humming quietly under my breath as I place my key into the door and push it open.

  I freeze.

  I’m standing in the doorway, staring into a room that should be empty but it’s not because sitting on my little blue and yellow bed is a man that I haven’t seen in way too long. Five years to be exact. My heart beats wildly as I observe him, I can’t move so I just stand there, watching him breathe, his black t-shirt moving with each deep inhale and exhale. He keeps his head down, staring at a photograph that I usually keep on my dresser –one of many photos in our room-it’s a picture of Josh and I at a concert from a few months back, in it he is kissing my cheek as I smile widely at the camera. I still haven’t moved, taking him in as if he’ll disappear if I blink. He hasn’t changed so much that I wouldn’t recognize him but at the same time he has changed so much that he no longer resembles the boy that I once knew. He’s bigger, more muscular than I’ve ever seen him, his black t-shirt stretching over the bulges of his chest and biceps. His hair is a little bit longer on top but still short on the sides. The biggest change, however, is the overall hardness that I can feel emanating from him, a dangerous aura surrounds his outline like a live wire.

  “Alexander.” I say almost inaudibly. I’m fighting to remember to breathe, light headed at the sight of my one and only love. Sitting on my bed. A sight I have hoped and prayed for night and day for too long.

  “Who is he?” His voice is so much deeper than I remember, the dark ra
sp in his tone completely unfamiliar, he doesn’t even look at me with his question, keeping his head down while he continues to stare at the photo. It takes me a moment to respond, my brain registering the question too slowly in my excitement.

  “Uh... In the picture? That’s a friend of mine, his name is Josh.” My voice is shaking. I can’t believe he’s actually here!

  “Friend of yours?” He asks darkly, his nostrils flaring when he finally looks up from the photo. His dark eyes land on mine, creating a cold chill that runs along the back of my neck. They’re no longer the melty, dark chocolate that I once loved, they are no longer the endless pools of warmth that I used to crave. His dark eyes seem empty now, hollow, nothing in them showing the love and devotion that he once held for me.

  “Yes.” I whisper, unsure of where this animosity is coming from.

  “Just a friend then?” He asks again, nostrils flaring.

  Does he think I’m lying to him? I’m debating that as Alexander stands, turning toward my bed he pulls the comforter off, revealing the sheets underneath, he thoroughly looks them over before walking to my dresser, pulling out drawer after drawer, turning them upside down, dumping all of my clothes and items onto the floor then sifting through them. I stand there, stunned and unsure of what is happening as I watch him then walk to the closet, rifling through that as well, uncaring that he’s dropping clothes from the hangers. He finds my cardboard box, pulling it out so he can peek inside, his brow furrows as he brings it over to the bed and dumps out hundreds and hundreds of letters, some of them falling to the floor.